Hypothyroidism and ME...
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As a 20 year old full time student and part time substitute teacher, and Education Director at a local child care service I have many duties that require energy, focus, and above all multi-tasking abilities. I work hard all week and make time on the weekends for friends and my boyfriend. I hardly have a moment where I am not out and about. Hearing this you would not think I was someone who suffered from a chronic condition on a day to day basis. Well, I do. I was diagnosed with Hashimotos Hypothyroidism when I was just 14 years old. I have had this condition for over 6 years now and I am just now beginning to understand my condition and how I can work to overcome all of the obstacles that have been put in my path because of this condition. I have chosen this blog as a way to discover how to better handle my condition and share my journey with all of you.
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Hashimotos Disease is a condition when my body decided that it wanted to kill a part of itself. My body attacked my Thyroid as well as other parts of itself. As a result of this, my Thyroid was then killed in part and could not continue to do its job properly. My Thyroid's job is to produce important hormones that help my body function from day to day.When a part of it was killed, all of this resulted in my body not being able to function properly and causing me to struggle in even the most simple of daily tasks.
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Having this condition has also brought a snow ball effect of other auto immune conditions that I have had to work with and adjust my life style accordingly. I have learned to evolve and change my lifestyle as my body is affected through the years. I have learned to cope with the things that come with the condition such as weight gain, fatigue, brain fog and so many more and I am still learning different ways to better deal with the things thrown my way.
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Follow me and my journey with Hashimotos Hypothyroidism.
20 and Fatigued...
Fatigue is one of the many symptoms tat are associated with Hashimotos Hypothyroidism. It is this constant feeling of being tired and drained of all of your energy. In order to better understand how this feels on a day to day basis, imagine going through your day with weights on your hands and legs. Holding you down and making every task difficult to do. This is the way I feel every moment when I wake up. In many ways I have struggled to explain to people that I get tired simply going from one room to the other. It isn't me exaggerating or being 'lazy'. My body does not preserve the energy it needs to function normally, because of this, I could sleep for 12 hours straight and feel as if I had only slept 2 hours that night. One of the big red flags that concerned my doctor was how easily I could fall asleep anywhere I was. For example, I could be in the examination room and be left alone for five minutes and I would be asleep in no time. This has made it difficult to want to go out with friends or simply make it to my lectures once I began attending UNLV. My social life suffered as I would have to mentally prepare myself a week in advance when a friend invited me out. And even then there were times where I would cancel last minute due to my lack of energy. I began working hard to not let the fatigue keep me from my everyday activities but that just made it all worse. Going to class was increasingly difficult. I would find myself asleep during Biology lectures, oversleeping while sitting in the Student Union while waiting for my next class to start and missing the first 20 minutes. All in all I am still working to find things that help me with the fatigue. I am currently on Synthroid 150mg and still struggle on a day to day basis to get from my house to school, or to work.
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Clear the fog
Brain Fog is defined as a lack of mental clarity by google.com. This is the constant forgetfulness and mental blocks that I experience on a day to day basis. I have a constant feeling of not knowing what I was just doing or was about to say. Brain fog is one of the many symptoms of Hashimotos Hypothyroidism. This particular symptom is difficult to deal with as people do not generally understand that this is more than just a slight inconvenience. This is a constant battle with myself over misplacing things every few minutes or forgetting little things and big things.
Even with this constant battle, I have found different ways to keep myself from going crazy looking for things every second of every day. I do this by using my phones calendar app and alarm apps. If anyone was to look at my phone they would find many alarms to remind myself about dead lines at work or at school, plans with friends, even outings with family need to be written down in order for me not to forget. In addition to this I find myself always carrying a pad of sticky notes and a variation of pens. I use these when I temporarily misplace my phone or if I need something done I will have sticky notes all over my desk at work and my car. I do all of this to take control of my life and to clear the fog.
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If you suffer from brain fog share your experience with me through the contact tab.
As a result of my Hashimotos Hypothyroidism, I have found myself taking a multitude of medications. In fact at the moment I take 7 different prescriptions. I won't go into each and every one I take, however I will cover some of the side effects that come as a result of these medications.
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To start, I will admit that I am not the best at remembering to take my medicine at the same time everyday. In fact I recently found myself overwhelmed by the amount of medications that I was on, that I decided that the side effects where not worth it and I went off of ALL of them. Now let me tell you that this is absolutely the worst thing I could have done. The reason being that The symptoms from my condition are far worse than the side effects from my medication. The first week I found my self sleeping more and more. Soon after my days were shorter and shorter. Simple tasks made my exhausted and I could not remember about my assignments or work deadlines. In all I regret that decision.
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With that said, some of the side effects I encounter are nausea, weight gain, higher risk for colds due to a lowered immune system and dry skin. I combat these by reminding myself that those things are better than constantly not having energy to do simple tasks. I realized that it is impossible for me to want to feel normal. I haven't been 'normal' in years. My normal is going through my days like a zombie. The side effects from my medicine are worth it. I gain even a sliver of my energy back. I can remember how my day went and I can work hard to reverse the damage of my zombie days. Everyday is a battle, but I push through in hopes to one day be on a regular dose and have 100% of myself back.
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Auto Immune?
So, I have discussed how Hashimotos Hypothyroidism has affected me personally, but I would like to discuss how this one auto immune disease can bring on others in a snowball effect. Once I was officially diagnosed with Hashimotos Hypothyroidism, I was also diagnosed with Psoriasis on my scalp and other parts of my body. This caused scaly patches to inflame on my scalp and flake off. This was probably the worst thing for me, as I was about 16 years old and not able to wear dark color clothes due to the fact that the flakes was very unappealing. I still struggle with this condition along side with Hypothyroidism. This intensifies when it is cold, and it does not help that the climate in Las Vegas is dry and HOT.
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From all of this, I have learned that my body hates itself and will do anything to try to attack it, and that I will NOT let my conditions keep me from doing everything I would like to do. Even on the days where I cannot stand my dry itchy skin I still go out and give my all to the kids at my work and do anything so that they are not affected by my discomfort .
If you suffer from something similar please share your story through the comments tab.
Lets play a game
Change of Pace
After realizing that simply denying that I had this condition and going off of my medicine was not a good idea, I came to the conclusion that I would do everything that I could in order to feel better. That includes adjusting my diet and including an exercise routine in my schedule. In addition to this, I also decided that I needed to give myself time to care for myself. I am 20 years old and I have two jobs and go to school full time. It is often rare for me to take an afternoon and allow my body to rest. Stress is one of the biggest factors that make my condition worse and I am on a path to reduce any stress and let myself breath once in a while.
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This change of pace is really what I need to be happy and healthy. Mindfulness is a term that my most recent doctor has suggested I look into. This lifestyle promotes putting time aside for yourself and doing things with a purpose of being healthy. People who practice mindfulness also suggest doing yoga to reduce stress and increase mindfulness.
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All of these things are new additions to my daily routine. I still struggle with not overwhelming myself and allowing myself to breath and not stress out, but I sure am on my way there.
CONCLUSION:
My conclusion will invite my readers to follow my journey to understand the condition and myself.
Defeated...
Having an invisible disease I often feel as if I need to be strong all of the time. I feel as if I cannot complain or share my grievenses with friends or family members without feeling misjudged. Often I hear that I just need to stop being lazy, or that I need to stop milking my condition. Often I am told that my doctors lie to me and that they just want my money. Often, this leaves me feeling defeated. I feel alone, and often depressed. I question if I am just using my condition as an excuse, but there is no explaining just how exhausted I get just by getting ready for my day. My family often asks when I will try to loose weight and I can't help but feel defeated because I know that they all think I gain weight by choice. I wear a mask on a day to day basis, but as soon as I get home there is no better feeling than getting on my bed and calling it a night.
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With all of this, I know that I will not be DEFEATED by this condition. I will continue to look for what works for me and I will not let those words from friends and family hit me as hard as they used to. It is difficult to understand that even after 12 hours of sleep, I feel as if I have been up all night. It is like trying to charge your phone but forgetting that there is no electricity going into the outlet.
Ongoing Battles
It is an ongoing battle with doses and lifestyle changes. I recognize that although I have been battling this condition for 5 or so years now, I have only scratched the surface to truly getting better. The last couple of months have shown me that I am not going to ever try going off my medication for any period of time EVER. Also, that it is okay to let yourself feel upset or tired. It is okay to sometimes feel like all you want to do is sleep and stay home. All of these things are okay. However, I will work hard to concentrate the energy I do have into my work, my school work and all the things that truly matter to me.
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I have Hashimotos Hypothyroidism, I have Psoriasis, I am deficient in Vitamin D, I am 20 years old and my purse is full of prescription drugs. I am on a first name basis with my pharmacist and my doctor sees me so much they know more about me than even I can remember on a given day. The most important thing is I AM GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY THAT I WAKE UP AND TRY MY BEST.